You Know You're from Alaska when...

You actually understand that AK means Alaska and not Arkansas.

You've never met any celebrities.
    
You know what a PFD is.
    
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a camper on the highway.

"Vacation" means driving to Chitna to dip net.
     
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
   
You measure distance in hours.
     
You know several people who have hit a moose.
     
Your school classes aren't canceled because of cold.
     
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
     
You've never had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
     
The last thing you do before going to bed is plugging in your vehicle.
  
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
     
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
     
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
     
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer and fish jerky.
     
You carry jumper cables and a blanket in your car.
    
You cover the bedroom windows with tin foil.
    
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
     
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
     
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
    
You wonder why, of the half million Alaskans only 500,000 of them have fishing licenses.
    
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
     
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
     
You think that moose season is a national holiday.
     
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
     
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
     
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Road Construction.
     
You own moose nugget earrings.

Mosquito dope is part of your daily attire.
     
You think the song "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" is about springtime.
    
Your idea of a Valentine's gift is a thinsulate toilet seat for the outhouse.